From the Road Me Being Stupid

Don’t catch the Swan Flu

swanfluIn the last four weeks I’ve been in Dallas, New York City, San Antonio and Savannah. Somewhere along the way I picked up a bit of a cold.

My nose has been running consistently for more than a week, I have a little cough and my ears have been bugging me. I’m missing the most important swine flu symptoms (nausea, dizziness, fever). And like the “real man” I am, I’ve been completely ignoring it in the hopes it will just go away.

Until Monday, when swine flu frenzy made us all rethink the sniffles. Except I hanging at MSP Airport, blowing my nose and sneezing while people crowded around CNN televisions in terminal E and listened to the media fear monger them about cold and flu symptoms.

Fast forward three days, my cold is fully kicking my butt, I’m filling tissues like a firehouse, and now people at both the Savannah and Atlanta airports are wearing respirator masks and literally jumping at every cough and sneeze like they’re gunshots.

This morning genius VP Joe Biden said what we were thinking as the cabin door closed, “It’s not that it’s going to Mexico — it’s that you’re in a confined aircraft. When one person sneezes, it goes all the way through the aircraft.”

That’s probably how I got this cold in the first place. All kidding aside, I’ll admit it was freaky seeing civilians wearing masks, especially after I landed at MSP and was still seeing them.

I headed to the Minute Clinic this morning, explained my symptoms and my hunch that I had an ear infection. I was correct and got myself some nice antibiotics. I will say the nurse practicioner seemed reassured I wasn’t asking for Tami Flu just in case.

So the parallel to this story is that my friends at work have been talking about Swan Flu — to the point that the #swanflu hashtag went viral (with a little help from CNN), and they quarantined me in my office.

Swanflu Quarantine

It’s not that we’re making light of the people who have died or become very sick. It’s more that the overwhelming fear mongering and nonstop media coverage is making us so crazy we have to make light of it.

Then they busted out our workplace-issued emergency kits, including respirator masks, flashlights and space blankets, and…well…the video speaks for itself…

Maybe Swan Flu is more contagious than I thought.


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